The aftermath is real…

I don’t even know where to start. The pain of losing that ONE person that read your soul. The one who could not just finish your sentence but start them as well. So in sync with one another that life took on a completely new meaning. That’s the aftermath I speak of…

“You will have three loves in your life”. Yet they lie. It’s the death of the very soul it’s searched for through lifetime’s, only to be put on a shelf, in the here and now. That’s the kind of pain that doesn’t allow you to recover. It’s a tragic comedy of boy meets girl 3,000 miles away… and boy chooses convenience over happiness. I’m not talking about the love you meet and you are awe struck, I’m talking about your twin flame, some would say “soulmate” but it’s much more that that. Even though miles are between, we can still feel each other breath and dream.

It’s the tragic story of lovers in a past life that has come full circle, only for each to admit the bond, yet deny themselves the happiness that they knows awaits. There is no way to move on for the other but they admit defeat and close the door. No other choice but to succumb to the misery of silence and loneliness so the other can live the rest of their life until the next life resumes and pray the chances of them being together once again has substance. It’s a shot in the dark once again… do they meet? Do they suffer the same fate?

It seems circumstantial in each and every life that passes them by. Is there a point in time where they no longer feel each other’s presence? That’s the question I would love to have answered. Especially because now that I know he resides on this earth. Is there a possibility that I can stop the misery for lifetime’s to come? Can I break the cycle now so that I don’t have to suffer in my next life? Do I really want that or am I just so completely crushed from this life that I’m willing to give up on happiness for lifetime’s to come just so that this pain, this soul crushing, life altering pain, can be diverted? Answers would be incredibly helpful, yet my guides refuse to offer up the answers.

Until you have had to make this decision… one that doesn’t just effect this life, but the next. How do you go on? How do you manifest happiness knowing damn well that you may never find him again and fuck, if you do? Does it continually turn out this way? How do you protect your future self from the future fucked up man from decades ago? Is this the Karma you have placed on not just you, but your entire family? When does this curse stop for good? Why do I have to be the one to fight this fight? I’m not strong enough to fight what I can no longer see in front of me.

I’m beside myself. I can no longer succumb to my lover from lifetime pasts. I need to fight to save my future self from this torment… if there’s a chance, now is the time to try to rewrite history. My future self deserves more than what this life has offered me. Although my lover from lifetime pasts, I’ve begun to wonder if he’s nothing more than a proverbial bullshit artist. That continually haunts me in each life to make me miserable while he lives the high life.

I’ve come to the point where I no longer want to deal with the BS. I feel as if it’s become exhausting over the years. My past lives have had to deal with the same rejection and now? Do we continue on or do I stop and call BS for eternity? Let those with past issues deal with them, then come back once they have a better understanding? I don’t have the answers but for once, I’ve delegated my sorrow out to any spirits willing to take on the task of ridding my present and future from this miserable existence. My heart can’t handle anymore 💔

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